“Nothing ever goes right for me. I have the worst luck in the world!”
“I just failed that test. I’m no good at school. I might as well quit.“
“She hasn’t texted me back. She hates me.”
“He’s late. He must be lying dead in a ditch.“
These are all examples of cognitive distortions: thought patterns that cause people to view reality in inaccurate — often negative — ways.
Most people experience cognitive distortions from time to time. But if they are repeated often enough, they can become unhelpful thinking habits. These increase anxiety, deepen depression, cause relationship difficulties, and lead to a host of other problems.
Everyone makes all of these thinking errors “all the time” (this is, itself, a thinking error!); but most of us make two or three “habitually.”
Emotional Reasoning – We often believe our own feelings automatically and unconditionally. Emotional reasoning occurs when our emotions precede our thoughts (e.g., “I feel guilty, so I must have done something wrong.”).
Overgeneralization – Drawing a conclusion from insufficient evidence. (e.g., “I’ll never get better; ”“This always happens;” or “You never listen”)
Mental Filter – a/k/a “confirmation bias.” Only noticing evidence that supports one’s belief or theory. This bias is the reason the scientific method is so important.
Discounting the Positive – Seeing and acknowledging but ignoring contrary evidence. (e.g., “Yes, but…”). This may cause us to overlook our personal achievements and disregard our positive attributes. We may deny our successes, claiming that it was just luck or chance. People who discount the positive rarely feel a healthy sense of pride or satisfaction.
All or nothing (polarized) thinking – Viewing things in absolute, either/or terms. Failing to recognize context, nuance or complexity. (e.g., good vs. evil; smart vs. stupid; right vs. wrong)
Jumping to Conclusions – Drawing conclusions with little to no evidence. knowing what others think and feel without evidence. Two common forms are “mind-reading” (assuming we know what others are thinking and feeling) and “fortune-telling” (assuming we know what will happen in the future).
Personalization – Seeing oneself as the cause of some event when that is not the case. (e.g., “They stopped talking when I came in; they must have been talking about me.”)
Magnification / Minimization – Making problems bigger than they are (“Catastrophizing”) or down-playing the seriousness of an issue.
Should Statements – Sometimes called “musturbation,” these are unhelpful rules about how every person should behave. (e.g., “I should exercise more” or “My child must do as I say.”) Often linked with magnification (e.g., “It will be a catastrophe if my child doesn’t do as I say”). Note that not all should statements are wrong; we just have to take the time to deliberately consider whether these are our beliefs, or just assumptions we have learned.
Labeling – Generalizing one or two experiences into a negative global judgment. (e.g., Instead of saying “I made a mistake,” I might say ” I’m a loser.”)
Blame – Finding fault instead of solving the problem. Includes blaming self or blaming others.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy — A prediction that causes itself to become true. “I know I’m going to fail the test.”
These concepts can be very powerful, for several reasons.
First, understanding these can help us to recognize them when they occur, We probably can’t prevent them — after all, they are built into our thought processes by more than 100,000 years of evolution — but we can learn to counter them when we recognize them!
Second, I find that if you can name it, you can control it. Remember the story of Rumpelstiltskin?
Finally, these can give us a common language to use in talking about, and thinking about our thoughts.
References:
A Guide to Rational Living (Albert Ellis, Ph.D. and Robert Harper, Ph.D. 1975)