There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Which are you?

  1. Do other people like to be around you?  While confidence is an attractive trait, most people tend to avoid arrogant people. Arrogant people are often superficially charming, but they cannot keep it up for loing.  They tend to have few long-term friends or acquaintances.
  2. Do you interrupt other people often? If so, that might mean that you have little regard for what others have to say.
  3. Are you often late?  I’m not talking about occasionally falling victim to the exigencies of life. Sometimes we can’t avoid being late.  But are you sometimes late on purpose?  Do you believe your time is more valuable than that of others?
  4. Do you always have to be right? Do you have difficulty accepting that you might be wrong? Do you always have to have the last word?
  5. Do you often jump in and do things for others, instead of letting them do it?  Do other people often ask that you give them a chance to show their abilities?
  6. Do you think your title or status is more important than your contributions? That is, do you focus more on your title or status than on your job?  This doesn’t just apply to work roles, by the way.
  7. Do you despise weakness?  Do other people’s honest mistakes make you angry?  Do you resent people who don’t step up and take charge?
  8. When asked if you can do something, do you always say “yes?”   Do you feel like saying “no” would be a sign of weakness? That it would mean that you are flawed in some way?
  9. Do you have a hard time self reflecting?  Do you have a hard time looking back at your own failures and weaknesses?  Do you have a hard time admitting to your own flaws?
  10. Do you love to be the center of attention? To be talked about?  Do you need others to agree with you?
  11. Do you consider people you don’t like to be threats or enemies?  Does your blood start to boil when you hear their names or concoct reasons to prove that this person is an “idiot?”
  12. Do you want everyone to be like you?  Do you find it difficult to speak positively about anyone who doesn’t measure up?
  13. Do you find it difficult to build and maintain relationships?  This is more than just friendships. Arrogant people have a way of sacrificing their relationships with friends and other people for the sake of success or self gratification.
  14. Do you cover your feelings of  inferiority by acting superior? Arrogant people always have an Achilles heel, but this they do not want exposed or known by people. Thus they “front” to protect their vulnerabilities.
  15. Does your false charm mask secret cruelty?  Arrogant people show false charm as a tool to draw attention, but then throw in cruel “digs,” generally against those they perceive as weaker than themselves.

Obviously, this is not an all-inclusive list; but if you answered “yes” to more than a few of these items, you might want to do some self-reflection (see item 9).

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